Stalling...at this very moment

Call it what you want.  Stalling, procrastinating, dilly dallying, dawdling, etc.  I'm a goddess of it all.  Especially when it comes to cleaning.  I hate it.  With a fiery passion.  My house can be clean at the beginning of the week, but by the weekend, it's a mess once again.  It's not dirty, it's messy.  There's a HUGE difference between the two.  I need to learn how to fix this problem.  And fast. 
Reason #1:  My son and I both have allergies...to cats.  We have two.  I'm not willing to find a new home for them yet.  I am as excellent in my tenacity as I am in my procrastination.  Clean house, helps keep dander and especially hives away.  Hives are ugly for us...they cover our bodies and take 48-72 hours to completely disappear.  Taking our allergy meds daily helps.  A lot. 
Reason #2:  E has a friend come over...almost everyday.  I don't know why E invites him up when he knows that our house is less than amazing to walk in to.  But at the same time, I've seen the inside of this kid's house.  It's spotless.  All the time.  There are three kids under the age of eight and four adults in that place.  How it's never messy is beyond me.  I don't want to clean everyday.  E's friend doesn't seem to mind what our house looks like, but I sure do. 
Reason #3:  I'm going to be an aunt...in a matter of hours.  I know if I want to spend anytime with my precious baby niece, my house is going to have to be clean.  I want to spend as much time with her as I can...or as much time as her parents will let me.  She's not even born yet and already I want to steal her away.
Reason #4: My parents come stay with E on Sunday nights so I can go work for an hour.  I don't like the looks my mom gives me when my house is messy.  I have a child that likes to play with his toys.  My house will probably never be spotless as long as he lives here.  At least not now, anyway.  I can only hope as I get older, he'll be more willing to help me clean.  I've realized the reason he doesn't help me now is because he hates it as much as I do.  I'm not a perfect mom, but I can at least be a clean mom.   

30 Day Challenge

Monday started my 30 Day Shred challenge with Jillian Michaels. I'm on Day 3. I don't see a huge difference yet. But I can do push ups a little easier today. My legs are still killing me, but at least I can walk a little more normal today. I sweated a little more during my workout, too. Not sure what it means, but I'll take it. I'll do my best to keep up with my progress here because it will give me something to keep motivated, along with logging on to myfitnesspal every day. My girls have been a huge help with me in all this. They keep me motivated. Being healthier keeps me motivated. Being in a bikini this summer and every summer hereafter keeps me motivated. My brother's wedding in roughly 72 days keeps me motivated. Seeing my body change keeps me motivated. The almost 12 pounds lost in 10 weeks keeps me motivated. Our fancy dancy sexy night out keeps me motivated. I had one more, but I lost it. I'm ready to do this, and this time, it's serious!

Catch Up

I had plans of keeping this updated over the summer, but I didn’t. The biggest news that’s happened to me over the past few months is that I lost my job. I’m okay with it because I wasn’t happy. Hadn’t been happy for the past year. I was in the process of fighting the termination but it’s taken so long to get to the final step in the process, I don’t want to do it anymore. So I’m not. It’s not the end of my world. Ethan and I are both doing great.

Over the summer we did family counseling. He was having problems in school and those problems came home with him. Not listening, not following directions, not staying focused; it made me frustrated. I’m sure it was frustrating for him, too with all the yelling and crying and screaming we both did. Our psychiatrist helped us both. More than I realized. It wasn’t until our last few sessions that I was getting it. I make mistakes, Ethan makes mistakes, but I don’t need to flip out about them. What he told me was this: “Stay calm, cool and collected.” Sounds hokey, I know. But it works for me. It’s definitely been awhile since either of us have been completely out of hand. Our relationship is absolutely amazing.

He’s doing amazing in school. It helps that he LOVES his teacher. She’s new this year, but she’s awesome. I hope she will be Ethan’s “Mrs. Manford (my 1st gr teacher that I still remember and adore because she was so great).” His reading level is amazing. He’s more focused now than at the beginning of the year. She loves having Ethan in class. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like reading and spelling and loves math. WHAT?!?! This can’t possibly be my child!! I have such a hard time getting him to sit down and do his spelling or his sentence or his reading. When it comes to math, little to no stalling at all!!! I just don’t understand it. I love spelling! I love reading! I hate math! Guess some people are better at things than others.

Ethan’s joined Scouts and now that I’m not working I’m able to participate with him more than what I did. I think it’s great because he’s going to learn things he can use for the rest of his life. These boys will always be a big part of who he is and it’s just great.

I started school this week. I finally went back. I'm going to Ivy Tech for nursing. The campus is only 10 minutes away on a good day. I'm going full time. I think if I hadn’t lost my job I wouldn’t have done it. There’s no way I could have done family, school and work and remained sane. Now I’m doing family and school. Yes, I know it’s going to be stressful, but not as much. So far I’m only dreading math. I’m going in with a positive attitude though. My prof seems pretty cool. ALOT better than the one I had UIndy for most of my college career. Gah, what a witch!

That’s what we’re doing these days.

This Sucks

I used to not mind working Saturday's. Now that Ethan's playing soccer and I'm supposed to be co-coach, Saturday's suck because he plays EVERY. SINGLE. Saturday until the end of May. The suck worse than any other day of the week. They suck worse than my busiest day at work. They suck worse than being broken down in the middle of nowhere. They suck worse than being broke at Christmas. Saturday's suck.

On My Own

I thought I was going to "participate" in the biggest loser at work. I didn't. Since August I've been going to see a health coach every two weeks. She resigned about 3 weeks ago and I haven't seen her since our last meeting. I hope she's doing well with her new job. I'll be assigned a new coach. I don't want one. It's not that I liked my old one so well, I don't want a new one. It's that the past three weeks without her, I've had more success being healthy than I did with her.
The reason? It felt like a chore to me. If anyone knows me, they know I hate chores. I don't do well with them. So what I thought would ultimately help me, ended up actually hindering me. Now that I don't have anyone to "answer" to, I feel more confident that I can do this. I actually want to eat healthy. I want to exercise. I want to look good. We all want to look good, but I want it more now than I have in the past 8 months. I feel compelled to do all these things. For me. Not for someone else. Which is another reason I'm not going back.
Another reason? I'm happy with my life now. There are things in my life that still need work, but if I focus on them, I can get through it. I had salmon, salad, and rice for dinner tonight. Not on a huge dinner plate, but a small luncheon plate. It was enough. I am content except for the fact that I will be having about 2 oz of ice cream. Only 2 because it's a 6 oz container and I already ate about 1/3 of it last week.
I'm not sure if I've lost any weight, but I feel more confident in my self image. I don't think I look overly fantastic, but I FEEL fantastic. I have vacation in 3 months, and a wedding of which I am an integral part in a little over a year to keep my motivation up and going.
This time, on my own, I KNOW I can do this.

Random Update

I signed Ethan up for soccer. I still haven't heard anything so hopefully we will soon.
I'm pretty sure I had a nervous breakdown a couple weeks but I worked through it. Luckily Ethan wasn't around to see it. I just realized my family really is there for me and it's an amazing feeling.
My brother is engaged and I'm REALLY REALLY excited about it!! I love him and I love his fiancee. She's super cool and she fits with our family.
Ethan and I will be going to MI for our Spring Break trip in two weeks. I have the ENTIRE 5 days off!!! My brother and his fiancee will be up there for a couple days and then it will be Ethan and me. Excited!!
I'm in a country music listening mood right now so that's what I'll be listening to until I find some other music to listen to. Yes, I like country. Really, I do.
Now that it's nice out I plan on getting my butt up and moving. I have a goal to lose 10 lbs by Ethan's birthday in exactly one month.
I can't believe my baby is almost 6!!!!
I love my apartment. It's messy right now, I absolutely LOVE it.
I applied to Ivy Tech because I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY decided what I want to do when I grow up...or at least pretend really well to be one. The human body fascinates me. I want to get my hands in it. I want to be in the OR assisting the surgeons. I've decided to be a Surgical/OR tech. I'm really excited about it!!
Ethan is in his "what if?" stage right now. It's fun. "Mommy, what if we had wings?" "Mommy, what if we were robots?"
I'm not picking up any extra hours this summer because I want to spend as much time with my son as I can doing fun things and just spending time together. Last year we couldn't do a whole lot because we had just moved into our apartment and didn't have a whole lot of money. This year I plan on going to Indians games, the Zoo, The Children's Museum, and camping. Plus we'll be going on vacation and I'll probably plan a couple overnights somewhere...cheap.
My cat likes to pee on the floor so we've been putting her in a cage when we're not home. I cleaned the carpets with baking soda, dawn, and H2O2. The smell is pretty much gone. NOW I need to get her fixed.
Ethan and I watch Dirty Jobs together since I record it. He lets me know when Michael says bad words and wants to know if he can say them, too. Don't ask me why he calls Mike Rowe Michael, but he does. We have fun together.
That's it.

YEAH BABY!!!

SUPER BOWL!!! YEEEEAAAAHHHH COLTS!!! I LOVE MY BOYS!!!

Here I Go Again

Last year I chronicled my trials, stresses and successes during the biggest loser challenge at work. We're doing it again this year only I've opted not to do it. Not officially at least. I plan on doing everything I did before; watch portion sizes, make healthier choices, be active. The good news is that I've pretty much plateaued on my weight for the past year. The bad news is that I've plateaued on my weight the past year. But I think I'd rather stay +/- 5 pounds that have fluctuated than gain back all 22 pounds I lost. The other good news, I'm 22 pounds lighter than I was last year when I started. I'm determined to lose another 20 pounds. My goal is to lose it by Ethan's birthday...April 15th...and keep going until I'm at a healthy weight. Not what I want to be, which I think will make me look super unhealthy and gross (120-125), but a healthy weight (135-145) and maintain it like I never have before. I'm already hungry and the competition hasn't started yet. Unofficially, I started about 2 or 3 weeks ago and I've lost 3 pounds in the process. I have a Wii Fit and I need to use it more than I do. I need to sweat. I need to get to the gym. I have three places where I can get physical activity so I have no excuse to not do anything. I've done it before and I can do it again. When I go grocery shopping this week I'll be taking a menu with me so I know what Ethan and I will be having over the next few weeks. It will be healthy, it will be low fat, he may not like some of the options I'll be making but I'll be doing my best to make the meals tasty for both of us. Any suggestions, please let me know.
I can do this. I know I can. I just need to stay motivated. I've been going to a health coach since August and that's helped me a bit. I see her once every two weeks and she's helped me stay motivated and get motivated. She's given me good tools, and good advice, and now I think I'll be following the advice better than I have been.
Here I go again, and I'm really really looking forward to being healthy, feeling great, and looking awesome!!

My Costume

After trying to think of every damn geeky/nerdy show/book/video game/movie yesterday, I finally figured out who I was going to be this year. I'm super stoked about it!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Officer Aeryn Sun from Farscape! I think I'm going to attempt to make her gun and hope that my brother can help me out with the design. I'm also going to attempt to make the leg holster for her blaster. Now I just need to find some kick ass boots and semi-form fitting black pants....

Halloween/GenCon

Every year my brother has a Halloween party. This year, it's themed. GenCon themed. Scifi/comic book/fantasy/video game/cartoon themed. I have NO clue how to dress. I've been running some ideas through my head, but the ones I THOUGHT would be good, well, they're super skinny and wear tight or little to no clothes. Not for me. I'm thinking Indiana Jones, Elsa from The Last Crusade, Moiraine Damodred, Phedre no Delaunay...but still, not a clue. If any of you have any ideas, and I mean ANY ideas, let me know quick because I'm doing my shopping tonight and tomorrow. I'm excited about it either way.