On My Own

I thought I was going to "participate" in the biggest loser at work. I didn't. Since August I've been going to see a health coach every two weeks. She resigned about 3 weeks ago and I haven't seen her since our last meeting. I hope she's doing well with her new job. I'll be assigned a new coach. I don't want one. It's not that I liked my old one so well, I don't want a new one. It's that the past three weeks without her, I've had more success being healthy than I did with her.
The reason? It felt like a chore to me. If anyone knows me, they know I hate chores. I don't do well with them. So what I thought would ultimately help me, ended up actually hindering me. Now that I don't have anyone to "answer" to, I feel more confident that I can do this. I actually want to eat healthy. I want to exercise. I want to look good. We all want to look good, but I want it more now than I have in the past 8 months. I feel compelled to do all these things. For me. Not for someone else. Which is another reason I'm not going back.
Another reason? I'm happy with my life now. There are things in my life that still need work, but if I focus on them, I can get through it. I had salmon, salad, and rice for dinner tonight. Not on a huge dinner plate, but a small luncheon plate. It was enough. I am content except for the fact that I will be having about 2 oz of ice cream. Only 2 because it's a 6 oz container and I already ate about 1/3 of it last week.
I'm not sure if I've lost any weight, but I feel more confident in my self image. I don't think I look overly fantastic, but I FEEL fantastic. I have vacation in 3 months, and a wedding of which I am an integral part in a little over a year to keep my motivation up and going.
This time, on my own, I KNOW I can do this.